Garage Triennial of Russian Contemporary Art or Not.

It is Mama’s firm belief that modern art is the medium to go for if you want childish appreciation of visual virtuosity. Classical paintings are very flat. Contemporary… whatjmacallits tend to be a lot more pace roundable, climb upable, crawl alongable, duck underable and even, occasionally, touchable.

The current exhibition at the Garage art gallery in Moscow, the Garage Triennial of Russian Contemporary Art, has items on display which allow you to do all of these things, and put on headphones to listen to the soundtrack that accompanies them as well.

The Way of an Object Makhacheva Garage Triennial

Of course, so far we have only been to one exhibition where you were invited to handle everything, and the Garage Triennial wasn’t it.

Figuring out which items you are supposed to manipulate and which to contemplate from a safe distance by carefully observing the appropriate behaviour of more clued up others is both a profoundly moving representation of an essential aspect of the human condition and also a very good opportunity for children to practice this vital social skill.

Faces Garage Triennial of Russian Cintemporary Art

To limit the potential damage this might cause, the very practical Garage gallery had stationed a large number of young docents at every possible corner on the lookout for people doing it wrong, so generally the art was safe from everyone except Mama, who absent-mindedly walked into the dangling skier model. We simply can’t take her anywhere.

Female Male Red Khasanov Garage Triennial

Adding to the child-friendliness, in the Garage Triennial, when the art is flat, it tends to be on TV. Can we recognise the difference qualitative difference between Spongebob Squarepants and a woman being sloooooowly covered with large smooth stones on a beach? Mama has no idea, but she does know that my Predictable Big Brother will be entranced as long as there are moving images.

Mama wouldn’t say that the Garage Triennial is simply uncomplicated fun for the more youthful element of society though. So she experienced trepidation every time I put on the headphones, and even insisted on sampling the soundtracks first if she could get there ahead of me. But since I retained my sunny delight in trying on every single one of them for the whole of the exhibition, Mama concludes that it was fairly innocuous after all. And the set that also included virtual reality goggles was simply FABULOUS. Floor to ceiling dancing babushkas. ‘Nuff said.

The Garage Triennial of Russian Contemporary Art is organised into a number of themed sections. Its overall aim is, for the first time ever, to showcase the current state of the modern art scene for the whole of the Russian Federation, and to this end curators spread out all over the very very big country in order to discover what is going on out there. Way way out there in some cases.

They seem to have decided that artists are working on being famous (‘Master Figure’), describing themselves (‘Personal Mythologies’), describing their location (‘Fidelity to Place’), describing what’s wrong with that (‘Art in Action’), describing art (‘Common Language’) and scribbling on walls (‘Street Morphology’).

Prussian Winter Matveev Garage Triennial

And actually Mama, who can sometimes find herself in a modern art gallery staring a large, random, piece of burnt wood and wondering if it would make sense the other way up, felt that either the Russian artists had been unusually successful in getting a point across or that the groupings were particularly well thought out. In pondering the connections between pieces or between the piece and the topic, she made a lot more sense of what was going on than that time when she was interviewed by a psychic guru in the catacombs of the Tate Modern.

Reticence Novikov Garage Triennial

Went a bit over our heads, mind you. My Predictable Big Brother stared particularly blankly at the large golden model of a priest and inquired with some disapproval as to why he was making a mildly rude gesture. Being moved to read the caption and finding out it is a self-portrait didn’t seem to help much.

Basically, both of us much preferred the shiny metal spiny sculptures, the giant pile of rubbish that changes into something much more attractive when the lights go down, the sand tray where you could use tweezers to move a few buttons, twigs, grains of sand, plastic baubles and fabric flowers around, and the giant multi leveled wendyhouse, with the extremely steep twisty stairs.

Metropolis Seleznyov Garage Triennial.

Most of all I liked the dolphin buried in a concrete brick. Look, I just like dolphins, alright? No need to overthink things.

Dolphin Tail Garage Triennial of Russian Contemporary Art

I liked it so much, in fact, I drew it in the visitors book, full of sketches by other gallery goers too, after double checking to make sure it wasn’t just another piece of art.

Garage Triennial of Russian Contemporary Art

Mama thinks that very much in evidence was the Russian surrealist sense of humour, impressive commitment to fixing anything as long as there is a bent paperclip or a large hammer to hand, and habit of flinging themselves wholeheartedly into their latest project.

But the Russian reputation for startling directness is also not unjustified and this was definitely on display at the Garage Triennial too.

Take this one, which Mama found one of the most powerful examples, given that it marries the very delicately pretty feminine art of watercolour painting with the ugly subject of domestic violence.

Bruise Potemkina Garage Triennial

Or this one, in which items from the personal and political history of the country have been embedded in amber, itself an iconic item from this part of the world. Can’t get more crushing that the implication that the symbols you held so dear are now fosilised remnants of a disconnected past.

Nasubullova Garage Triennial

Or this one. These are house numbers. Note the missing ones, intended to represent the losses suffered to wars and instability in the artist’s hometown.

Numbers Gaisumov Garage

Which is Grozny in Chechnya.

Let’s just take a moment to add a new layer of painful interpretation to that, shall we?

But the problem with message-driven art is that at some point that you do start to wonder if perhaps standing in a swish custom-built chrome-plated art gallery, thinking about the coffee you can have in the large, tastefully-appointed cafe downstairs, next to the extensive souvenir cum glossy art books shop is all a bit… too… comfortable.

Is there, in fact, a point to looking at this kind of thing if all you are going to do afterwards is play on the table football, and then wander downstairs to the elegant toilets, where there are sprays so you can detoxify the seats before parking your rump, as well as a mirrored area with a built in clever-clever hashtag for teenagers to primp in front of before their edgy Instagram session upstairs? And all this while listening to the deliberately amplified sound of flushing loos?

A question already addressed in the Garage Triennial of Russian Contemporary Art, by the Monstration happening.

This is an event which takes place annually, and which at first glance seems to show a large street demonstration in action.

Monstration Loskutov Garage Triennial

But if you look a little closer (and you can read Russian), you will see that the placards are covered with pseudo slogans.

Because this is a pseudo protest.

Yes, the artist organizer may occassionally get arrested for planning it, and the onlookers heckling the participants may also be taking it seriously, but no, these people have turned out en mass and with considerable enthusiasm, having taken the time to paint up their own signs with absurd sayings to participate in an entirely content-free demonstration.

Mama simply cannot decide whether this is the most genius bit of biting sociological satire she has ever seen, the angriest political commentary or an egregious example of shocking frivolity given that it is 2017, the year after 2016. It’s been bothering her considerably.

Which, I suppose is the point of art, contemporary or otherwise. To get under your skin, to stay with you, to make you examine the world in a different way.

So go, if you can. It’s interesting, fun and worthwhile. And your kids will love it.

More information

The exhibition’s website (in English).

This is what the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has to say about bluffing your way round an art gallery.

Address: 9/32 Krymsky Val, 119049, Moscow

Opening: The Garage Triennial of Contemporary Russian Art is on until 14th May 2017. 11 am to 10pm daily.

Admission: 400 roubles for adults. Children under 11 are free. Children over 11 cost 100 roubles.

Public transport: The Garage gallery is in Gorky Park. The two nearest metro stations are Oktyabrskaya (orange line) and Park Kultury (red line).

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The Garage Triennial of Russian Contemporary Art

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the Pigeon Pair and Me

Multimedia Art Museum Moscow: Lego, owls, Eisenstein, quilts and dolphins.

It’s always reassuring when you rock up to an art gallery as an under ten, just as we did at the Multimedia Art Museum Moscow, and the first thing you see is a generous number of Lego play stations and a couple of cars you can sit on and drive round a carpet. A welcome bold statement of child friendliness.

But possibly, Mama thought about half an hour later, when we still hadn’t made it out of the foyer to any of the exhibitions on offer, rather too successful in making us feel at home. Of course, that might be the point. Corral the sticky fingered elements well away from anywhere they might damage the displays or be loud.

No matter. Finding places children will willingly amuse themselves for multiple minutes on end is a goal Mama is sure most parents share with her, so regardless of the reason why, this should be a win.

Mama would nevertheless like to complain about the lack of any adult-friendly distraction other than a decent connection to the internet in the same area. In particular, Mama feels that atrium of the Multimedia Art Museum Moscow is distinctly lacking in cafes, given how much time parents might be spending there.

Which is why, a mere forty-five minutes after we arrived, Mama insisted we go and have a look round the place.

The Multimedia Art Museum Moscow turns out to be a thin sort of building, which seems to specialise in a number of smallish ever-changing exhibitions of some variety. Although most of them seemed to involve photography while we were there.

Multimedia Art Museum Moscow

Our two favourites were at the top and the bottom of the museum. The top was interesting because it was a show of the everyday lives of everyday people who live in the town of Slavutych, built for the employees of the Chernobyl power plant, after the disaster. Nothing dramatic, but the photographer had an eye for small quirkily amusing moments, and some very brave subjects, who allowed him into their homes for the duration. Inevitably, though, the picture we liked best of all was the one with the dolphin mural.

White Angel Ackermann MAMM

The other child-pleasing photographs were the ones where the artist had embellished some real shots of kids playing to make them more like comic book pictures. We were particularly pleased that the thought bubbles were in English (GASP!) because we could make Mama read them all out. That said, Mama was a bit disturbed at how many of them involved the heroes shooting at each other (PEW PEW), which just goes to show you can overcome your seventies upbringing. I would have liked to see more Catwoman (MEOW) too.

Women, however, were very much in evidence in the photographs of the Pirelli calendar through the ages. It probably shouldn’t have come as a surprise that some of them were NAKED MAMA, Pirelli being a company better known to Mama for making tyres for Formula One races, an organisation not known for its inclusion of females as much more than glamorous props. But it was a disappointment that there wasn’t more fast car porn. And it would also be improved in Mama’s opinion, if there were a lot more racing drivers with their kit off.

Pirelli Calendar MAMM

There were more men in the rooms of photographs of artists in their studios, an exhibition that will probably appeal to those who have a better grasp of art than Mama, who really only recognised Picasso and Matisse. Given that most of the painters featured were on the less figurative end of art it was interesting to see how the end result compared to the actual objects they were depicting, and Picasso instantly became our favourite artist as he had a pet owl, apparently.

Genius in the Studio Picasso Sima

Mama’s favourite room at the Multimedia Art Museum Moscow was the one with the large rectangles of patterned fabric with the carefully placed hole in the middle which made them look a lot like the duvet covers that are popular here in Russia.

Empire of Dreams Bratkov MAMM

Mama hardly ever gets to read the explanatory placards when we are with her, but she was significantly intrigued by this to seek one out. Thus she discovered that these objects d’art are, in fact, quilts.

The Empire of Dreams represents fragments from the collective memory of the final years of the USSR and its immediate aftermath. Which Mama thinks is quite clever, although 50% of her is also wanting to mutter about how here is a man appropriating what should be woman’s art. The other 50% is saying that men’s unwillingness to engage in women’s work is a great deal of what is wrong with the world, and that showcasing this male enthusiasm for sewing in a proper art gallery is great.

We just gamboled around the colourful giant hanging hide and seek opportunities and then demanded to go back to the foyer.

Where they had set up two tables for, oh joy oh rapture, crafting!

We immediately got stuck in to making a collage out of stills from Eisenstein’s movies, an exercise which lasted a good thirty minutes or so. Mama noodled about on her phone, helped with the cutting out and wondered if anyone would mind if she nipped off to have another look round.

Crafting Multimedia Art Museum Moscow

So all in all, the Multimedia Art Museum Moscow turns out to be an excellent place to take children at the weekend as apparently they have this kind of free and easily accessible workshop every Saturday or Sunday. Plus, y’know, the Lego. Oh, and the small, easy to zoom round, differing exhibitions, at least one of which will almost certainly have the odd piece of art which will appeal to a kid.

If they add a coffee shop, then it will become one of our favourite places.

More information

The museum’s website (in English).

This is what the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has to say about making a T-shirt quilt.

Address: 16 Ostozhenka Street, Moscow, 119034

Opening: 12 noon to 9pm every day excpt Monday, when it is closed.

Admission: The website says that it’s 500 roubles per adult, but it was less than that when we went – Mama paid 350 roubles. Schoolkids over 7 are 50 roubles and the under 7s are free.

Public transport: The nearest Metro station is Kropotkinskaya (red line), which is a short walk away.

By other means: Probably.

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Quilts, owls, Eisenstein, dolphins, tyres and PEW PEW PEW at the Multimedia Art Museum Moscow

Tin Box traveller
Wander Mum
the Pigeon Pair and Me

The Moscow Central Circle Railway Line

The opening of the Moscow Central Circle Line was a cause of much excitement in our house.

Mama generally prefers to use public transport in big cities than drive, and although she persists in thinking that London has far FAR worse traffic problems than Moscow, any improvement to the network in the town she now lives in must be a cause for rejoicing. The Central Circle Line connects up all of the radial lines of the Metro, and from Mama’s point of view does so in a way which makes it a bit more convenient to do at least one of the journeys we take regularly.

Plus, y’know, get to Moscow City, which is clearly an advantage.

Add to this that, despite the fact it is administratively part of the Moscow underground system, it is 100% above ground AND that it is, as you may be able to tell from the title, a circular route and you really do have a guaranteed winner in Mama’s eyes. Virtually free sightseeing tours!

They have produced a set of all new locomotives and attendant carriages specifically for the Central Circle Line. Named after the bird ‘lastochka’ or ‘swallow’. Surprisingly this does not mean that they stop working in winter, but that they are fast.

Lastochka Moscow Central Circle Line

Either way, due to the fact that the Russian railway gauge is significantly wider than the standard used in the rest of Europe, you can fit a fairly large number of comfortable seats fairly comfortably into the passenger areas and have plenty of room for a generous aisle space as well. There is leg room and little tables to put your sandwiches down on! There are quite pleasant toilets! There are LED displays showing you how fast you are travelling and what the temperature is outside as well as what the next station will be.

And there are TV screens, but Mama does not recommend looking too closely at these as what they show is mostly show infomercials about what happens to you if you try to cross over the train tracks. Mama has always made sure we are seated with our backs to those since discovering that. There is instilling a reasonable sense of safety in your users, and then there is inviting screaming nightmares for the rest of the week. In her.

The other thing about the Moscow Central Circle Line that Mama grinds her teeth at are the announcements. Which are in English as well as Russian.

Now 1) this means there are rather a lot of announcements, but 2) it also means that she has to listen to the AngloRusski equivalent of Dick Van Dyke mangling Cockney in the film Mary Poppins every time one of the stations is mentioned. Somehow this annoys her even more than the actual Russian speakers in her family, who just find it amusing. Why oh why oh why they couldn’t find someone with a nice RP accent who ALSO speaks a bit of Russian Mama does not know. Someone did suggest to her recently (because, yes, she has gone on about this a bit to more people than you might imagine) that it’s all done with computers splicing together the appropriate phonemes rather than recorded voices. But this means it’s even more indefensible! Why use English sounds for Russian place names? If you are actually there, what you need to know is how the locals pronounce it, not how one of your countrymen botches it.

Muttermuttermuttermutter. Says Mama at length, particularly after the 20th station.

Most important, of course, are the windows. Now at this point Mama must admit that the name ‘central’ does somewhat oversell the potential for tourist viewing. In that it’s not that central. Quite why it is called the Central Circle Line, in fact, escapes Mama, doing as it does little to distinguish the route from the actually central Circle Line. Possibly the Moscow authorities are teasing us with the potential for a future line with an even wider radius – for the Central Circle Line, while not being actually in the middle of Moscow, does not quite encompass the full width of what is also an increasingly expanding city. Yet another circular route, more accurately named the Greater Circle Line, does, but that is a giant 24 hour journey mainly for freight traffic, which Mama does not feel counts as it is too far away, if convenient if you don’t want to come too close to Moscow at all.

Given that this Central Circle Line has taken over 100 years to properly get going, Mama does not think that it is really worth looking that far ahead to the Somewhat More Encompassing Circle Line.

Yes, you did hear that right. The Central Circle Line is over 100 years old. It was, in fact, first laid and opened to passengers in the time of Nicholas I. So one of the really interesting things you can see as you chug round are the old original station buildings, which were state of the art when built, electrified, heated and fitted with precision clockwork.

Original Station Moscow Central Circle Line

Unfortunately, it cost a whopping 3 and a half roubles to go all the way round. Nevertheless, it endured until 1917, when it closed to passenger traffic. It was resurrected during the war, but eventually closed again until serious renovations, the orders for the new trains and the constructions of new stations began in 2012.

It does still share its tracks with freight trains, though, and whether you are into train spotting or not, keep you eye out for what Mama thinks are the very cool engines that will be sharing your journey.

Freight train Moscow Central Circle Line

So what can you see? Well, in the north a fair number of trees, as on one side you have the Elk Island National Park (look out for elks) and on the other the very large Botanical Gardens. At some point, between the Botanichesky Sad and Belokamennaya stations on the right (assuming a clockwise direction) you can see down a large highway to the famous statue of the Worker and the Communal Farm Worker.

Worker and Collective Farm Worker

Between Locomitive and Ismailova you can look right and see the fairytale reconstructed Kremlin of Ismailova Park.

Then it’s pretty industrial backlots, streets and half built flyovers until ZIL, which is the name of a giant former car factory as well as a station. This is what’s left. On the right. Keep your eye on this building site, though – it’s going to be a giant museum/ gallery/ leisure complex eventually.

ZIL Moscow Central Circle Line

As you swing round the south west, you’ll cross over the Moscow River a couple of times, eventually getting to the bit which has rather grand apartment blocks on it, shoot past Novodevichiy convent (famous people in the cemetary) and you’ll go past Moscow City. Mama has utterly failed to catch a good shot of it, but she can assure you that you will get a very good view for quite a long time.

Moscow City from the Central Circle Line

The rest of the journey is mostly looking out over residential blocks of varying levels of fabulousness until you get round to the trees again.

Street art Moscow Central Cricle Line

Thrilled? No, we weren’t either when Mama and Papa first made us go most of the way round. We’re good for about half way, if liberally provided with snacks.

Mama and Papa, on the other hand, were more keen, and actually engineered a child-free morning to go and ride the rails without the distraction of someone tugging at their sleeve for more food or entertainment every five seconds. That sort of enthusiasm might be more for jaded Muscovites looking for distraction rather than the casual visitor, but it’s still an interesting alternative to being carried around underground and not getting to see much of the city outside of the centre.

More information

The railway’s official page.

This is what the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has to say about the London Underground’s Circle line.

Tickets: Same price as the Metro (50 roubles), and if you buy a ticket to ride here, keep it and you can use it on that system without paying again should you decide to stop going round in circles.

Operating hours: 5.30am to 1am

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Going round and rournd Moscow on the Central Circle Line

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Suitcases and Sandcastles

The Zoological Museum of Moscow University

The power a Zoological Museum has over children is a source of never-ending surprise for Mama, who proposed a trip to the one in Moscow without very high expectations given that we have trekked past what seems to her to be an endless number of stuffed animals so far in our short lives. Surely by now the fascination would have worn off?

Lizards in a Jat Moscow Zoological Museum

She had even lower expectations after I whinged all the way there. Well, really, Mama. If you will take us to Burger King first only to discover they had run out of the plastic tat we went there to claim AGAIN. And then double down on the disappointment by dragging us away from the soft play area after a mere half an hour in order to embark on a lengthy overheated Metro journey when we were dressed for Siberia.

But! She had definitely underestimated the restorative powers of dead animals and birds.

Toucan at the Moscow Zoological Museum

I cheered right up almost as soon as we stepped through the front doors of the Moscow Zoological Museum. It may have helped that we got to take off the padded over trousers, the heavy coat, the hat, the scarf, the gloves, and the extra jumper and put them into the ever-present cloakroom. Although Mama thinks that the giant mammoth mural in the entrance hall also helped.

You see, the Zoological Museum is in an old building. It’s actually not just any old Zoological Museum, but the original one attached to the original Moscow University, housed in the even more impressively classical mansion building next door. The actual work of educating the next generation is now in one of the Stalin skyscrapers on top of a hill overlooking the Moscow River far away. But they still retain their former premises, which are right next to Red Square and opposite the Kremlin.

Zoological Museum and the Kremlin

(That’s the Zoological Museum on the left, and the orangey building at the bottom of the street is the Kremlin. No, it’s not supposed to have onion domes).

Did I hear the sound of travellers with children everywhere sitting up and paying attention? Yes, there is indeed a guaranteed child-pleasing attraction within a very very short walk of the must-see sights of Russia’s capital city. And better yet, it’s good, but it’s not that extensive, so would make the perfect pit stop to refresh a small person’s soul before pushing on to more historically significant places. Assuming said small person’s interest in such heritage-heavy destinations has temporarily waned.

Of course, there’s always the giant child-themed department store up the road. But this more educational. And cheaper.

The most essential room is the one with the mammals and the birds. Mama, who is starting to consider herself a bit of a taxidermy connoisseur, was particularly delighted by the mammals. She thinks that there is a certain quirkiness in the stuffing. Take, for example, this seal.

A ferocious seal at the Moscow Zoological Museum

Not, Mama would suggest, the usual presentation of this beloved furry creature, albeit one which from a penguin’s point of view is probably quite accurate. Mama thinks that the ensuing cognitive dissonance might be good for kids, who are generally encouraged to anthropomorphise the natural world to an unhealthy degree.

Otter with a fish Zoological Museum Moscow

Of course, the stuffed birds will also be popular – it’s the colours of the plumage and the variety of beaks – but what’s even more guaranteed to please in the Moscow Zoological Museum is that the room has a high number of the larger and more impressive animals people usually go to zoos for. Mama has written before about weighing up the ethics of zoological museums like this one versus live animal experiences, and the fact that these were collected not for someone’s trophy cabinet but to educate generations at a time when you couldn’t just go out and make a high-resolution film of the creatures, well, she thinks that has some value.

Tigers at the Moscow Zoological Museum

Basically, if you want to study the natural world, it helps to know what it looks like, and if anyone is any doubt, they should go off to the Grant Museum in London and ask to see the sketches of kangaroos made by people who were relying purely on descriptions to make them. The Zoological Museum of Moscow University celebrated its 225th anniversary last year. You can see why someone thought it necessary to bring back all the big cats, and a polar bear, not to mention the bison, the bears, and the weird antelopes with the big noses, although Mama suspects that the really scientifically interesting collections are probably not actually out on display, and probably consist of seventy-two examples of the same species of dull brown rat. For, y’know, the purposes of comparison.

Bison Zoological Museum Moscow

That said, there is almost certainly no scientific justification for making the imperial double-headed eagle out of dead bugs. This just goes to show that Russians might not strictly speaking have been Victorian, but that people 150+ years ago were pretty much the same all over.

Russian Imperial eagle made out of bugs Moscow Zoological Museum

The other rooms consisted of things preserved in formaldehyde in glass jars, mostly anything you can’t really stuff, and the Skeleton Room, which for some reason really freaked me out. Possibly because it wasn’t bones of mythical dinosaurs but real creatures which might, y’know, rattle to life and come chasing me down the corridor. The dim lighting didn’t help either. I imagine this sort of thrill might actually be a draw for some people though. My Ghoulish Big Brother was certainly a fan.

Skeletons at the Moscow Zoological Museum

So my lack of enthusiasm brought the visit to a close, although not before Mama had bought herself a mug as a reward for discovering the place. I scored a rubber snake. My Ghoulish Big Brother got a magnet and a book about fish, which, much to Mama’s shock, he read steadily on the journey back and at home until it was finished. As a result, she’d have happily popped in and got the rest of the series too, if the shop (actually a small table – Mama does worry about the commercial arm of some of these Russian museums) wasn’t behind the ticket barrier. The Zoological Museum of Moscow University is reasonably priced, but not that cheap.

Oh dear, what a pity. We’ll have to go back in the not too distant future…

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The Zoological Museum of Moscow University is full of stuffed animals and birds large and small and things pickled in glass jars

More information.

The museum’s website (in English).

This is what the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has to say about Hoover, the talking seal.

Address: 6 Bolshaya Nikitskaya, Moscow, 125009

Opening: Tuesday to Sunday 10am to 5pm with late night opening on Thursday to 9pm. CLOSED every Monday and the last Tuesday in every month.

Admission: 400 roubles for adults, 100 for kids over seven (the English version of the website is wrong on their pricing – it’s gone up a bit).

By public transport: The Zoological Museum is a short walk from either of the two red line stations of Okhotniy Ryad and Biblioteka Imeni Lenina and their connecting stations of Tverskaya (green line), Ploshad Revolutsii (dark blue line), Boroviskaya (grey line) and Arbatskaya (dark blue line).

By other means: If you live here and are looking for somewhere to amuse your offspring in the centre, I assume you already know where to park. Cos I don’t.

MummyTravels
Flying With A Baby

54 floors above Moscow City aka the International Business Center is a very high place indeed.

Regular readers of t’blog may have noticed that Mama has a somewhat irreverent attitude to the Russian delight in having the BIGGEST OF EVERYTHING.

She doesn’t understand the pressure to keep up the standard set by being the biggest country in the world, is what I say. Or, if I were feeling particularly sharp, I might point out that, as a British woman, her amusement is the smugness of a collective psyche which has a somewhat sorrynotsorry attitude to its (former) superpower status. We don’t need no biggest Hamley’s, most extensive ice skating rink, heaviest clock mechanisms, most well stocked aquariums, list, list, list, list, or the European Union because we once RULED THE WORLD, BABY.

But she’d probably get a bit defensive, so we’ll brush right past that.

Whatever the psychosis behind what Mama describes as the need to get its metaphorical penis out and make comparisons, clearly when Moscow realised that monolithic Soviet buildings notwithstanding, there was a distinct lack of really tall glass office blocks which could be entered into some kind of record book, something had to be done. And thus Moscow acquired its very own City-with-a-capital-C.

And it’s absolutely obligatory for anyone Instagramming Moscow to have in their feed.

Imperia Tower Mercury City Tower and Evolution Tower Moscow City

Obviously.

So when a visiting relative from St Petersburg brought the possibility of venturing up one of the towers and having a squint at Moscow from far far above, Mama decided this would be the perfect outing for us and the collection of Babushkas to go on. Well, it was the holidays, we were miraculously between illnesses and at the time it was flirting with sub minus 20 degrees C temperatures. An attraction which combined a shortish outdoor walk and a longer rest in well heated surroundings was exactly what was wanted.

It helps that Moscow City finally has its own stop on the central circle line, making it more convenient to get to. A lovely green tinted station too, as the plastic roof design aesthetic serves to entice people off the train by making the skyscrapers look even more photogenic than usual. Or, possibly, just harder to get a clear shot of from inside the carriages.

It’s also hard to get a clear shot of the buildings when you are in amongst them, Mama soon found out. This is, of course, partly because they are very tall and Mama’s camera lens is only so big, but mostly because I had developed a bit of a taste for parkour after being an invalid for the best part of a month, and there are a lot of shiny marble steps to jump on and off, pillars to dance behind, bollards to swing from and ramps to run up and down, and the recent snowfall just added to the frolicking fun. Mama found this distracting.

Moscow City International Business Center

But in any case, the City is not a particularly interesting place to wander around on the ground at the moment. Mainly because it is very much still a work in progress. Quite a few pathways were therefore closed off with construction work still going on, somewhat to Mama’s surprise given the buildings have been dominating the skyline for a while now. It seems that one thing (global economic collapse) and another (sanctions), and other minor details such as a lack of good transport links has put Moscow City’s dream of rivalling the great business centres of the world on hold. Currently, it is about half built and operating at less than full occupancy. World financial domination will have to wait.

The shopping mall is open though, and it’s a rather nice one because Moscow City was not just conceived of as a business district but a one stop shop for high-end money-making, living, and playing. In the absence of bucketloads of high rollers, however, the fact that the place is still very tall and fancy means that tourist attractions have moved in, and they are not impossibly expensive. This winter, Moscow’s highest ice skating rink opened on the 85th floor of the OKO tower. And someone has opened a budget hostel somewhere high up in what should have been premium office space and a boardroom with a view. 1500 roubles a night for the 43rd floor in the Imperia building. Go for it, Mama says. Although not with kids. Kids are not allowed. Spoilsports.

Mama also suspects that it is a similar sort of collective who have also rented the 54th floor of the Imperia building for the Smotricity project, which is where you can go and squint down at Moscow and across at the surrounding businesses. Timed tours, so once you find the booth selling tickets, you may have a bit of a wait in the lobby for your slot. It’s a very pleasant sort of lobby though, with toilets and a coffee shop within easy reach.

When you finally get into a lift, your ears will pop as you ascend in what Mama thinks is an alarmingly brisk manner to not quite the top of the building. There is probably some statistic proving that this is the fastest lift in the northern hemisphere or something, but Mama was too busy yawning and waggling her head around to pay attention.

But what, you may be thinking, is Moscow City’s claim to bestness?

The most orange building?

City of Capitals Moscow City

The blockiest?

City of Capitals Moscow City

The twistiest?

City of Capitals Imperia Tower Evolution Tower Moscow City

Well, the thing is that Mama took advantage of being a variable Russian speaker to totally blow off the guided tour of the windows which gathered up us kids, the visitors from St Petersburg and most of the other tourists in favour of wandering about unburdened by needing to stop me flinging myself under a car or trying to remember she is British when queuing for a shot at photographing the available vistas. She took all the snaps her little heart could desire in largely solitary splendour, but she didn’t pay attention to what made Moscow City particularly fabulous and full of awesome.

Except the amazing view, of course.

It was a shame that, being the depths of winter and not a particularly clear day, the hope of seeing right across Moscow was somewhat ambitious.

View from Imperia Tower Moscow City

But then if you are 54 floors up, what’s actually interesting is just… how… high that is. And for that you don’t need to look out, but down down down down dooooooowwwwwwwwwwn to the tiny ant people and cars and buildings below.

Looking down from Imperia Tower Moscow City

Mama did a lot of happy boggling, and then it was time to take photos of us in front of the windows from every conceivable angle. And while she was doing this, she discovered the real reason that Russians try to outdo the universe.

It’s the drive to impress elderly Soviet ladies.

Because there was a distinct vibe of well, it’s alright but it’s no putting the first woman into space, is it? And how much did the tickets cost again?

Which may be why on the way home they insisted on having a fight with the train ticket sellers about whether or not people who went through the blockade in St Petersburg are entitled to free travel on the Central Circle Line. No, was the initial position of the Central Circle Line. We left before the argument really hotted up though so I am unclear as to what the final outcome was. But having a good shout did mean everyone arrived home happy, so that’s alright.

And OK, look, Mama has availed herself of Google and discovered…

Moscow City contains not JUST Europe’s tallest building, but ALSO the second tallest, AND the third tallest, the fifth tallest and the seventh tallest.

Federation Tower and Mercury City Tower Moscow City

And that ice skating rink? Is the highest EVAH!!! And!!!!! No hostel is as many floors up in the air as the High Level Hostel!!!

So there. World’s most expensive follies. We have ‘em.

Although Mama would not put bets against Moscow City in the long run. Well, just look at it. Preeeeetttty!

More Information

The website for Smotricity, the high rise tours (in Russian). The tours run from 6pm to 11pm weekdays and from 11am to 11pm weekends and holidays. It’s 700 roubles for adults and 400 for kids, and at weekends there’s a discount if you get there before 2pm, when it’s only 500 roubles for adults.

The website for the High Level Hostel (in English). Beds are from 1500 roubles a night per person to 3800.

This is what the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has to say about Norman Foster, the architect behind the cancelled Russia Tower project for the City, which would have been the tallest skyscraper IN THE WORLD. It’s now a car park.

Address: Presnenskaya Naberezhnaya, Moscow, 123317

By public transport: Delovoy Tsentr (connected to the dary blue line) and Vistavochnaya (light blue line – probably open any time now) and there is also the Delovoy Tsentr on the Central Circle Line.

By car: Apparently the construction traffic has been playing merry hell with the surrounding roads. But then there is what may well be the world’s largest, or certainly the most expensive car park (see above) so…

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Looking down on Moscow City

 

Travel Loving Family
Wander Mum

Street Art at Belokamennaya Station, Moscow

When Mama and Papa tried to take us round the newly opened Central Circle overland railway line round Moscow, it did not go well. So this weekend they snuck off and did it without us. This post is not about that, though, but the impromptu side trip they made when the train stopped seemingly in the desolated middle of a forest at Belokamennaya (Whitestone). A brand new station in the middle of nowhere? Clearly they had to get off to check what, in fact, was the point.

Belokamennaya

Well, at first glance, this newly renovated train halt seems to be servicing someone’s well protected dacha (country retreat) and sauna complex. Although Papa did note that if you follow the reasonably well trodden footpath through the woods in that direction, you get to somewhere a bit more populated fairly quickly.

Woodpile

You can also admire one of the old turn of the century stations built for the original iteration of this passenger service.

Old Station Belokamennaya

But it seems the real attraction lies on the other side of the tracks.

First, this is a sort of back entrance into the large forested nature reserve, ‘Elk Island’ (yes, with actual elks. Also, wild boar, beavers and some kind of egret). As you may or may not have noticed if you follow Mama on social media, the snow has made a seemingly permanent arrival in Moscow already. Clearly one of the things you can do in Elk Island woods at this time of year is go cross country ski-ing, and the parents did indeed encounter a number of people setting out to do just that. Although they also saw a very determined young couple who had taken their stroller out for a breath of fresh air and were manhandling it back across the completely non-existent pathway towards the station entrance too. So general hiking in the area is also a thing, winter, summer, whatever.

Skiing at Belokamennaya

What caught Mama’s eye, however, were the abandoned buildings.

Now Mama is not sure that she entirely approves of the schadenfreude photography fetish for ruined Soviet structures, but on the other hand there is something a bit more interestingly voyeuristic about poking around someone else’s stuff from the recent past rather than two thousand years ago.

Mama has never been one for standing in the middle of a field and feeling the vibrations.

Plus, it turns out that at Belokamennaya, there is also graffiti.

street art steam punk belokamennaya

Street art Belokamennaya

Street art cat Belokamennaya

Street art Belokamennaya

Street art tag Belokamennaya

Street art face Belokamennaya

Street art Belokamennaya

Street art flowers Belokamennaya

Street art skull Belokamennaya

So given the authentically dystopian atmosphere of the distressed concrete, the large amounts of rubbish, the godforsaken location and the epic street art, it’s not surprising that Mama and Papa tripped over Russian citizens secretly preparing for what she understands is the imminent invasion of Latvia.

Laserquest

Or indulging in a bit of free range laser questing. Your choice.

Laser quest Belokamennaya

Mama is afraid that she and Papa spoiled it a bit, by wandering around, clearly unafraid of being shot and taking photographs. Especially as she had on her heeled city boots, a natty flower strewn hat and a Cath Kitson-esque shoulder bag. Not very suitable for the urban warfare look, Mama.

But also not very suitable for yomping around offroad either, so once they had got their fill of the clean crisp cold air, they got back on the train and continued their journey. Which is a story for another day.

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Reasons why you should get off the train at Belokamennaya station on the Central Circle Line, Moscow, Russia

More Information

The Moscow Metro’s Central Circle Line website.

This is what the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has to say about Kyselak, a graffiti tagger who left his mark.

Address: 55.8298°N 37.7018°E

Opening: Trains on the Central Circle run from 6am to 1am, and the interval between trains on this line is between 5 – 15 minutes, depending on the time of day.

Admission: One shot Metro tickets are 60 roubles (more expensive per pound than a year ago, less expensive than five years ago. I dunno. Google it). You can travel anywhere on the network making as many connections as you like within 90 minutes for that. It’s cheaper if you have a Troika card (like London’s Oyster).

By public transport: Well, it’s Belokamennaya, innit. On the Central Circle line.

By car: Mama couldn’t possibly comment.

Museum of Illusions, Moscow

My Enthusiastic Big Brother has recently discovered the word ‘selfie’.

What it’s for, apparently, is shouting out while grabbing your friends and relations in a headlock, making triumphant horn shapes with your fingers and mugging madly in the direction of… what?

No, I don’t know either.

Mama says he might be missing a vital element to the concept there, but is oddly reluctant to tell us what it is.

She does hint though. One of her clues is that this is relevant because the Museum of Illusions in Moscow’s VDNH complex offers you the opportunity to have your picture taken in a variety of unlikely poses.

Now, Mama wouldn’t say that the Museum of Illusions, which houses a number of different attractions under this umbrella name, really warrants the title ‘museum’. Because it has no educational value whatsoever. Says Mama. Because it is designed to be fun! Say us kids. And so we immediately chose as our first stopping off point, the Butterfly Garden.

Butterfly Moscow Museum of Illusions

Well, small room, actually, with a number of rather battered looking butterflies determinedly clinging to the walls. But also, tiny song birds flitting about, tarantulas and other creepy crawlies to shiver over, a somewhat angry cockatoo and giant lizards you could hold.

Tarantula Moscow Museum of Illusions

Mama thought we were well in at this point, as one of my favourite things in the whole world in the UK was going to the pet shops to stare at the bearded dragons, but because it was a Thursday, the sky was blue, Mama was wearing jeans and I’d had pancakes for breakfast (or something – I forget), I took right agin’ the whole Butterfly Garden experience. Thus I followed Mama and my Enthusiastic Big Brother about loudly complaining as he proudly displayed his new reptilian accessories and gave impromptu animal fact lectures to any visitor who stood still long enough.

Which they were quite obliging about, because mostly what they were doing was staring smolderingly into a camera lens while trying not to get their ear bitten off by the cockatoo on their shoulder.

Cockatoo Moscow Museum of Illusions

Eventually, my persistence won out and we decided to go and see what the Museum of Illusions section was all about.

More photography, apparently. Not an explanatory placard in sight. See? Mama told you.

Basically, there are a lot of out of shape pictures painted at odd angles on the walls. You are supposed to go and stand in front of them while somebody takes your picture.

It was weird and, frankly, VERY BORING.

I mean, I like having my picture taken as much as the next five year old, but there is a limit, when almost none of the scenarios feature horses, princesses, or pink and there isn’t any dressing up involved.

Particularly as most of the illusions weren’t, Mama discovered quickly, designed with people my or even my Increasingly Less Enthusiastic Big Brother’s size in mind. So instead of sitting on the dragon, we’d be perched in the middle of her tummy. Or snatching wildly at the wand hovering a foot above our heads.

Harry Potter Moscow Museum of Illusions

Or failing miserably to be nearly crushed by the advancing robots. Or make it onto the giant’s dinnerplate entirely.

Mind you, this briefly cheered up my By Now A Bit Less Enthusiastic Big Brother as he got to wield the expensive camera while Mama cavorted about happily. But none of that helps you, dear reader, when she isn’t going to put any of them on the Internet.

And then we tried the town which had been stood on its head. Now Mama would have said that we felt much the same way about this area as we did about the Museum of Illusions section. This is because there were a lot of posing opportunities for tall people which were probably hysterical when they downloaded their memory stick, but not much to actually do if you are my height aside from look at things inexplicably stuck to the ceiling.

Moscow Museum of Illusions

Except the open bank vault. Lots of little bits of green paper there to throw about. Unfortunately, given the existence of a number of other families intent on getting their quota of happy snaps in, Mama let us spend less time there that we would have liked.

However, the reason this review is getting written some considerable time after I wandered around the whole entertainment complex whining about how much I wanted to leave and go and do something more interesting, is that only the other day I reminded Mama how funny that Upside Down Town was, and begged her to take us back.

Why this caused her to become speechless and stare at me like a constipated fish I do not know. If you can’t be capricious when you are five, when can you be?

Possibly what we had needed was a snack break. Unfortunately, there isn’t a cafe on site. But since this is VDNH there will at least be retro ice cream, boiled sweetcorn and soft drink carts within ten metres of the entrance.

As it was, Mama headed for the exit immediately after enduring my apparently fake display of crossness around this exhibit. She didn’t even attempt the plate smashing area, the maze of mirrors, the exploration of the human body or the house of horror. She did keep the tickets though, so clearly it is time to dig them out again. Because you can pay for each of the areas separately, or you can buy an inclusive ticket for a reasonable discount which allows you to pick five of the twelve available. You will want to do this. Some of the experiences are more substantial than others, but most of them are not going to occupy you for all that long. If you do find yourself sucked into an extended photography session, then you can bring your ticket back any time to knock off the other areas.

Basically if you are in the mood, and if you are of a sensible height, and if you feel your Instagram feed has gotten a little dull lately, the Museum of Illusions is for you. And in case you should find yourself well away from the fabulousness of VDNH and closer to the centre, there’s a whole set of similar experiences there! And in Ekaterinaburg! And St Petersburg! And Kazan, Nizhny Novgorod, Chelyabinsk and Barcelona!

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Go upside down and take ALL the photos at the Museum of Illusions in Moscow

 

More Informaiton

The ‘museum’ website (in English).

This is what the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has to say about the ‘trombone’ shot in filmmaking.

Address: VDNH, Prospekt Mira 119, Pavilion No. 55.

Opening: 10am to 7pm weekdays and 10am to 8pm weekends and holidays.

Admission: 350 roubles (less than you think, more than before Brexit) for one attraction, 1000 roubles (very reasonable indeed, but a shame about that dropping pound, eh?) for five. No limit on when you can come back and use your tickets, so no need to rush round.

By public transport:  Get off at VDNH (orange line) and then walk the length of the ex-Soviet exhibition space to the giant space rocket towards the back. The Museum is next to the all new History Museum and opposite the Polytechnic Museum and round the corner from Moskvarium.

By car: I don’t care.

MummyTravels

Moscow City Day Street Party 2016

Moscow was 869 years old on this year’s City Day, and that’s official.

I think it must be very hard to decide what to give someone who is 869. There are only so many My Little Pony dolls, accessories, houses, ice cream parlours, DVDs, costumes, card games and apps out there, whatever Mama might think. The Moscow authorities looked at the profusion of round numbers and gifted the capital of Russia a new circular metro line encompassing the more outlying areas of the city. Which was nice of them. A train set is always acceptable, even if it isn’t actually pink or covered in unicorns. But despite Mama’s keeness to ride the rails, we decided it might be a bit busy on its first day of opening. Instead, we went to the giant street party in the centre.

Living fountain of friendship Moscow City Day 2016

There’s always a street party for City Day.

But as it turned out, this one was not transport related. 2016 is the Year of Film in Russia and so instead we had  pop up cafes, stage shows, cosplayers and street performers all working around the theme of movies set in Moscow. You could even hunker down and watch the films themselves in tiny temporary cinemas if the other entertainment on offer got too much for you.

Now, by films set in Moscow, of course I mean those made by the very prolific Soviet and Russian film industry. Surprisingly, that means virtually none of them feature Brucik Willisov speeding around fighting the mafia and/ or the KGB among grim tower blocks and dilapidated nuclear power stations or fighting off prostitutes in seedy nightclubs.

Says Mama.

So what we had instead was the circus, time travel, Tolstoy, precocious children, singing in the rain, time travel (again), vampires and hipsters. Naturally.

There’s a running joke in the excellent (if very short-lived) Mitchell and Webb series the Ambassadors, set in a Former Soviet Country, which all expats in the Former States really should watch if only to cringe at the spot on portrayal of their foibles. This gag’s about the propensity of the natives to offer the circus as a high treat to any and all visiting foreigners. And the propensity of the expats to cringe with horror at the paucity of this unsophisticated entertainment.

Not a view shared by us, let me tell you! Even if Mama doesn’t have the faintest clue what the film it was referencing was, you can’t go too far wrong, in our opinion, with colourful costumed stilt walkers prepared to lift you up for a selfie, acrobats prepared to teach you some of the tricks of their trade and unicycle riders who took my Jammy Big Brother up with them and rode round the assembled audience, to his everlasting delight. Except I didn’t get to have a go.

Says Mama.

Circus performers at Moscow City Day 2016

Next up was Ivan Vasilievich Changes his Profession where, in a freak accident, the very medieval medieval Tsar, Ivan the Terrible, gets swapped with a lookalike petty criminal from 1970s Moscow, with predictably hilarious results. That one’s based on a story by Bulgakov, in case you didn’t think the Master and Margarita was obscurely satirical enough. But it meant that the organisers of this event could dress people up in robes and fighting gear and trot out the people doing live action metal work again, so that’s alright.Medieval Guards Moscow City Day 2016

Plus, the rather fabulous costumes from the actual film were on display, and that was definitely worth a gawk.

Ivan the Terrible robes Moscow City Day 2016

One of what I can only assume is War and Peace’s many iterations, saw the interactive fun themed around members of the public being invited to dress up in early 19th century dresses and hang out with the main characters whilst admiring the uniforms of the soldiers sitting around staring moodily into the distance or playing on their iphones. Mama says that Russians admit to skipping the War bits in the novelisation. This must be why. Not much happens.

War and Peace Moscow City Day 2016

Mama, being British, particularly enjoyed the installation where you could stand underneath umbrellas and have water poured on you. A bold choice, she thought, given that it’s mid September and last year’s City Day was a bit of a washout. And you thought Russians don’t have a sense of humour. I, on the other hand, was delighted to be able to show off my performance skills as this was the bit of the street devoted to the musical film, Here I Go, Walking Through Moscow, the title song to which I learned in school! Singalongs! With actions! That’s what every good party needs!Singing ion the rain Moscow City Day 2016

Then it started to get weird, otherwise known as Soviet sci fi.

Soviet cosplay Moscow City Day 2016

Now, they weren’t celebrating Mama’s favourite film in this genre, about a robot boy who takes the place of his lookalike human counterpart at school (The Adventures of an Electronic). Which goes about as successfully as you might expect but also gives a surprisingly interesting insight into what Soviet childhood was actually like in the 80s. No, this one, Guests from the Future, was the one where visitors from the future end up fighting for control of a little black box, to be ultimately thwarted by upstanding members of Muscovite youth culture. I gather from the rolling interactive performance of the main scenes which this area of Tverskaya Street consisted of.

Sci fi street theatre Moscow City Day 2016

Frankly, my Jammy Big Brother and I were decidedly sceptical about the fabulously dressed people milling around, although Mama, who you may have gathered is a bit of a geek, didn’t really see this as a problem as it allowed her the opportunity of getting her photo taken for once. More than once. More than twice, actually. But we enjoyed playing tug of war with the bad guys (we won) and chasing them through the streets of Moscow on our imaginary motorcycles (we won) and generally contributing to the triumph of the gentleman dressed in silver lame over the men in yellow (we won). I mean, who wouldn’t?

We also enjoyed taking part in the obstacle course races, the aim of which, was to act as good Soviet pioneers (like the scouts/ guides but more…. compulsory), and carry the milk in string bags home to Mama through tunnels, and so on. We both won our rounds in that one too. Mama notes we seem to have become a tad competitive over the summer.

Pioneer obstacle course Moscow City Day 2016

In fact, as you can see there was quite a lot going on for us kids, despite the fact that they didn’t seem to be celebrating any of the excellent Soviet cartoons we have been brought up on. And while it was crowded for Moscow, we’d recently attended one of the cultural hat tips on Trafalgar Square, and believe you me, you haven’t experienced packed until you have been to Maslenitsa, Diwali, Eid, a Japanese Matsuri, St Patrick’s Day and Pride in a space which can comfortably fit about a tenth of the people attending it, and you definitely haven’t felt frustrated until you have seen the queues for the interesting looking food or waited in line to get you hand hennaed for ages and ages and ages and ages and ages.

In contrast, for Moscow’s City Day it didn’t take us long to get the obligatory ice cream, or find seats in the obligingly comfortable bean bag chill out zones when our stamina started flagging about half way down Tverskaya.

Chilling out Moscow City Day 2016

Mama wasn’t, inexplicably, all that keen on experiencing food from a mock Soviet café. But we could have popped into any of the usual eateries which line the street had she not promised us fast food as compensation for indulging her love of spectacle – Moscow city centre is amply provided for refreshment options.

Soviet dining Moscow City Day 2016

Buoyed by our break, we hit the final film sets and were away. There were a few at this point Mama didn’t recognise, including the one which involved a giant Christmas New Year tree and ice/ roller skating rink. So we ignored them. Especially as Mama feels we will have had quite enough of Christmas New Year trees, snow and ice rinks in a few months.

The first one Mama was interested in neatly combined one of the mock ups of Moscow architectural landmarks dotted up and down the street with an actual scene from the film involved. Members of the public were climbing the archways to stand and survey the city. Just like the vampire members of the Day Watch police force, tasked with making sure that the magical forces of Light don’t take advantage during the times when most upright citizens of the Dark are having a well-earned nap from drinking blood, promoting the evil agenda, and so on.

Night Watch Moscow City Day 2016From the films (and books) called the Night Watch. Which are pretty bloody good, says Mama, and widely available in English. Hint hint. And the films are worth it for the subtitles alone, Mama says. Hint hint HINT. But as Mama feels that the plot of this one isn’t really very suitable for our ears and as we think vampires are to be avoided, perplexed is what we were.

Day Watch Moscow City Day 2016

Stilyagi (Hipsters), which ended the film parade, is another fairly recent film. This time, about the people who listened to that alternative underground music of the West,  RocknRoll. It’s another pretty good film, and does a very neat balancing act between the jauntiness of the soundtrack and colourful musical numbers and a glimpse at what happened to non conformists in the Soviet Union back in the day. But there’s also a refusal to turn them entirely into entirely righteous martyrs to individual freeeeeeedom and the American way. And a frankly odd ending. Mama thinks they just ran out of plot, or possibly money, but it’s still worth seeing.

Of course, for the perspective of a giant street party, it’s an excellent excuse to have beautifully dressed people performing energetic, hysterically happy, highly danceable music. And have beautifully dressed people mingle energetically with hysterical happiness with the crowd. Carrying a double bass! Mama was cross that at this point her camera battery died and she didn’t get to hysterically happily mug at us with correct hand positioning on the fretboard. You’ll just have to imagine the big skirts, the fifites hairdos and the hysterically happy grinning.

So, will you enjoy City Day, should you be in Moscow sometime in September next year? Will you enjoy a saunter down a street full of colour and distraction with the occasional snacking opportunity? Even if you are not the target audience and may find whatever theme they have a bit incomprehensible? Well, we certainly did, and so we can highly recommend Tverskaya Street on City Day to anybody. Other venues for celebration are available, but this is our top pick.

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Celebrating Moscow's birthday with a city day street party.

 

More Information

Had your interest in Soviet and Russian films whetted? Have a look at this website, which has links to Russian language films dubbed or subtitled into English.

This is what the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has to say about temporal mechanics in TV and the movies.

Address: Tverskaya Street, Moscow

Metro: Okhotniy Ryad (red line) Teatralnaya (green line) and Ploshard Revolutsii (dark blue line) are at one end, and Chekhovskaya (grey line), Pushkinskaya (purple line) and Tverskaya (green line) at the other.

By other means: What part of the centre is closed to traffic did you not understand?

MummyTravels
Suitcases and Sandcastles

The Trip That Changed My Life and a Liebster Award

So a while (a shameful while) ago, Corey from Fifi + Hop (there’s a great story behind that name) nominated us for a Liebster award, which is intended as a way for smaller bloggers to honour and get to know each other better. We’ve been nominated before but Mama is determined not to let that get in the way of excited squealing and hogging the microphone.

As it happens, one of the reasons it has taken Mama a while to get a round toit and respond to this flattering tip of the hat is that she has been working on  a bit of a side project. Along with 65 other travel writers from all over the world, she has been writing a story for a charity book called The Trip That Changed My Life.

The Trip That Changed My Life

And since she has been doing a little bit of editing for the book, she can safely say that her story, of how she came to be standing on Red Square in a wedding dress and how that impacted on her life, is not by any means the most exciting, the most entertaining, the most hair-raising, the most poignant or the most heartfelt either. Although her photos should be quite something. And she does explain what not to do when invited to a Russian celebratory meal.

The aim of this project, aside from providing y’all with a jolly good read, is to generate at least $5000, after production costs, for two children’s charities, Save the Children and Unbound. The money is being raised by pre-selling the book on the crowdfunding site, IndieGoGo. You can click here to find out a lot more about the project, and, of course buy the book.

The Trip That Changed My Life Infographic

It will not be available after close of play on 21st June. That’s right, there is less than two weeks to go to get your copy!

The tradition of the Liebster Award is that you answer some questions, set by your nominator. Corey of Fifi + Hop, being a travel blogger herself, had a set of travel themed questions for Mama. Mama has decided to continue this theme, and she is going to tag some of her fellow Trip That Changed Your Lifers on the grounds that it will serve to showcase the variety of writers who are taking part.

So here are Mama’s replies!

How did you get into blogging?

A friend started her own blog and I thought that looks like fuuuun…

Where do you write your blog posts?

During term time I decamp to a café between dropping the kids off and going to work a couple of days a week. During the holidays, it tends to be the kitchen table, after the kids have gone to bed (eventually…).

What is your favorite place to go to in or around your home town/city?

Stevenage Museum is pretty good. But the Hertfordshire countryside is truly pretty, especially if you have been stuck in London for a while. Cute villages too – thatched roofs, the whole bit!

What is your favorite place you’ve been to abroad?

Well, aside from anywhere in Russia, which I suppose doesn’t count, I used to really enjoy having to go to Tallinn in Estonia once a year to renew my visa. Lovely old town. A nice continental change from the monolithic classicism of Moscow and the quaint mishmash of London.

What other hobby(ies) besides traveling do you enjoy?

That would be blogging!

What has been your worst travel “mishap”?

I very nearly allowed my non-Russian speaking mother to arrive, on her own, in Moscow for her first ever visit, while I was stuck a day’s drive away with minimal phone access. Luckily, we managed to persuade the last bus driver out of the one horse town we were staying in to let us stand up all the way home…

Of course, there’s always also the time we brought ourselves to the attention of the secret servicemen in the Kremlin…

What is your favorite cuisine?

Homecooked British and Russian dishes are pretty good and what we eat happily day to day for the most part, although I do some mean enchiladas and an equally fabulous ragu sauce. In the UK, for a change I’ll usually choose Anglo-Indian take out. In Russia, I tend to visit restaurants with food from the Caucuses.

Ocean or Mountains?

Mountains all the way! I’m not a big beach person and I get seasick if the waves are big. I like water though, so, really, lakes, rivers and mountains.

Do you plan all your trips out or do you like to be spontaneous?

Spontaneous travel is my idea of hell. It’s how my husband likes to do things though. So mostly we stay at home…

Overpacker or underpacker?

Both. I alternate. What I don’t achieve is the happy medium.

Top of the bucket list?

Tricky. But I am quite determined the get out to Lake Baikal in Siberia before too long. The only problem is deciding whether to go in summer or winter.

And Mama’s nominees are…

Hung Tai of Up, Up and a Bear. The Trip That Changed My Life is his project. He’s done a pretty impressive job of whipping us all into shape so far, and it is, frankly, an honour to be on board and following in his wake. He also has a travel blog and an excellent taste in amusing blog post titles (not to mention the name of his blog). That’s what hooked Mama onto the project in the first place, in fact. He’ll be too busy to complete this, of course, but that’s not really why we’re nominating.

Writers for the Trip That Changed My Life

Some other members of The Trip That Changed My Life team.

Svetoslav of Svet Dimitrov

Maggie of Dakota Gypsy

Kerem of 35 Litres

Denise of Travelous Mind

Mulv of Mulv Jones Writes

Nam of Laugh Travel Eat

Shannon of Lives Abroad

Wendy of Pint Size Gourmets

Neven of Journey to the Unknown

Ting of My Travel Monkey

And their questions!

1 What was your first blog post about?

2 Where do you write your blog posts?

3 Why do you travel?

4 Where in the world would you most like to have breakfast?

5 And a picnic or at least outdoor lunch?

6 And dinner in a restaurant?

7 A city or the great outdoors?

8 What day trip near you would you recommend?

9 Favourite museum?

10 What do you do when not travelling or blogging?

11 How did you find out about The Trip That Changed My Life project?

liebster

5 Ways to Celebrate Spring in Moscow, Russia

Spring, it turns out, is a big deal in Russia.

I dunno. I quite enjoyed the snow. But perhaps when you have endured many more winters than one rather mild one, you do get quite excited when the earth finally heats up enough to sustain actual grass, leaves and tulips.

So perhaps it is not surprising that when this happens, which is the beginning of May in Moscow, Russians decide to celebrate All The Things! At Once! With Decorations! And Days Off! And (in Mama and Papa’s case) digging at my school for the ‘subbotnik’, when Russians get out there and tidy up their public spaces after the snow melts and everybody realises how much rubbish and how little grass is left behind.

Lenin kicked off this spring tradition by carrying a log across the Kremlin once. Papa says the log has increased in size over the years as more and more people claim to have been involved. Cool, huh? That Lenin had some tricks, huh?

It probably helped that that this year Orthodox Easter fell on May 1st too, which is already a public holiday. So Moscow was covered in painted eggs, chicks and other traditional Easter accessories, such as famous model churches from around the world.

Orthodox Easter Eggs Moscow

Yes, I know you in the Catholic/Protestant block celebrated more than a month before that, but given that I get two Christmases and two New Years out of a weird calendar quirk, the only surprise is that I don’t get two birthdays as well.

Props to the person who decided to place the recreation of Jerusalem in sand, plastercast figures and a real donkey opposite the statue of Karl Marx though. Because the public holiday on May 1st is not officially about spring but actually for the seriously Communist one of Labour Day, just like it is in what I imagine must be that other bastion of Socialist values, the USA. Albeit on a different date.

Mama particularly enjoyed sitting next to the Bolshoi Theatre in the shadow of faux middle eastern palm trees listening to some old guard pensioners sing Soviet songs while drinking vodka and talking earnestly about politics.

Orthodox Easter and Labour Day in Moscow

Even Lenin in his mausoleum got dressed up for the occasion.

Lenin Mausoleum on Labour Day

But for the non-partisan amongst us there were just lots and lots of artificial flowers, old shoes and springtime wildlife.

Spring Festival Moscow

And arts, crafts and music.

Spring Festival Moscow

And also, the three bogatyrs, the three legendary heroes, who battle dragons, rescue princesses and overcome other obstacles.

Three Bogatyrs at the Spring Festival Moscow

Not quite sure what they have to do with spring, but I Do! Not! Care! Because as well as displays of fighting, they offered a challenge to all comers and my Enthusiastic Big Brother and I got to whack away at large mail covered men with lightly padded giant sticks!

Bogatyrs at the Spring Festival Moscow

The ancient warriors might have been softening us up for the 9th of May.

It’s quite a big kuffuffle is Victory Day in Russia, although to be fair if you can’t celebrate the end of a war that left millions dead what can you celebrate?

There is a parade of such extravagance that it requires weeks of practice and many road closures. If you are Mama, you will stroll by all unsuspecting and be confronted with soldiers standing in little knots planning out their tank positions on one day and with the tanks themselves just a few days later. Goodness only knows what she missed the rest of the time.

Victory Day Rehearsal Moscow

We did not actually watch the parade itself, mind you. We went to Gorky Park instead. This is because, traditionally, this is where veterans of the Great Patriotic War meet up in their former units and celebrate, generally just by commandeering some plastic chairs and a table and taking over some pathways for their picnics. While they do this, passers by, especially children, give them flowers. It’s nice.

But not quite as much fun as climbing on the tanks down by the river.

Victory Day at Gorky Park

We were so exhausted when we got home that we went to bed early. This was a mistake as at 11pm, the whole of Moscow erupted with firework displays and shouts of ‘oorah!’ from the impromptu street parties outside.

Russians make pretty good neighbours, Mama finds, but when they do cut loose, they do it in style. On which note, I give you, the tank car.

Tank Car on Victory Day Moscow

Thankyewverymuch and goodnight.

More Information

This link will take you to whatever festival Moscow is currently celebrating. At the moment it is fish.

This is what the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has to say about how May Day became a workers’ holiday.

Labour Day is May 1st, which is a public holiday. It will be the holiday regardless of which day of the week it falls. If it is a weekend, a weekday will usually be given off in lieu. If it is in the middle of the week, Russians often find themselves working weekends, so they can get a block of days off instead.

Orthodox Easter is not a public holiday and shifts around just like the other Easter does. But because the Orthodox church uses the Julian calendar rather than the Gregorian one it may (or may not) fall on the same day as the Catholic/ Protestant one. Fun, huh?

Victory Day is 9th May and is a public holiday. See above for the complicated dance this may involve. But basically, you can guarantee that from the 1st to the 9th May in Moscow, there will be lots going on.

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Spring is a big deal in Russia and in Moscow they go all out to celebrate in the spring festival

 

MummyTravels